This week has seen two highly significant and deeply personal events. Friday 9th April was the 100th birthday in spirit of my Dad. I have been thinking about it for a while and wanted to mark the day. I had no idea how many memories would resurface accompanied by an outpouring of grief in recognition of just how challenging it is to be an orphan at any age and how much I miss the sound of his voice, wisdom, friendship, generosity and physical presence. Then on Tuesday morning I received news of a large fire at the Findhorn Foundation in Scotland which raised the main sanctuary and community centre to the ground. These two iconic buildings are at the very heart of community life and a symbol of that daily rhythm.
Shock ensued and the rest of the day was a bit of a blur. I didn’t realise how much the news would affect me, impact me and bring so many precious recollections to light. My first visit to Findhorn in 2010 was the summer ahead of my fathers death and the interwoven memories came flooding back. As the fire burnt out and the dust settled a new day ensued with warm sunshine and the clearest of blue skies. I walked into town noticing the smell of freshly cut grass filling the air and my nostrils. New beginnings always follow endings. We need the ending in order to start afresh and yet if we knew in advance how difficult, painful and uncomfortable this may feel we would probably stick with the original version. Events shift things and when this shift propels us to action, everything changes.
People die and buildings are destroyed every day. Out of the ashes, those charred and blackened remains, something new emerges. Something better and something different, which allows growth, liberation and transformation, even if we don’t see it at the time.
Grief clouds the window of perception and can prevent us from seeing opportunities that emerge with death. As I remember the extraordinary life of my father and the times we shared, I am finally releasing the remnants of grief which have locked up corners of my mind like a prisoner unable to see the door was open all along. Fire cleanses and burns away the old, the worn out and anything which is no longer required. What remains is love and from that eternal pool new life is born.
Nothing lasts forever and our acceptance of this fact frees us. It enables us to be in the moment, enjoying and appreciating what we have rather than worrying about what will happen when it has gone. Much of life is missed in this way. Releasing the past and accepting the uncertainty of the future is the only way to lasting peace, happiness and contentment.
Have a truly beautiful day
Vicki
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